1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

I'm going to confess that my relationship with God has been going weak since my poly days. That's like more than 1.5 years ago.

Fast forward, here I am in this city of sin. Yes it really is the glamorous city of Asia. All the material wealth and influences just reaches out to you as if a child attacking a blank plaster wall with his colourful crayons in hand.

Ain't it surprising I fell off the wagon after 1.5 months here? The worst thing, I felt no remorse. It really sucks and there were moments that I fear for myself for the next 4 years. Then, I'll start fantasizing how I can try to get good grades and transfer back to complete my studies back home. My real home. I'm delusional, I know.

Anyways, I trying my best to get back on track. I've found a church to "settle" and joined a fellowship group. & this is my sharing on the topic:

"As you guys know, I just came back couple months ago and I don't have a place to stay. I have to admit that I blamed God for not giving me a hall space. I am currently staying at my friends' house*.

Do not think for a moment that staying at somebody's house is so much easier than staying in a hall. It just comes with much responsibilities as well. 

I'll confess that I've done whatever I've done just to "secure" my place of living for the next 4 years if I'm really unable to get a hall space. All these things are done without love because it's just to make sure I don't get kicked out.

But then, I was on my way to church (an one hour ride) and was doing devotions to kill time. God just spoke to me to love my neighbours. & then today we're talking about love again. I think this it the message He is trying to get into the thick skull of mine. "Love thy neighours".

I guess I'll just try to love my neighbours. You know, to do the stuff I have to do, not just because I want to secure a place of living for the next four years, but to really something out of love for them."

I'm trying ok? It's so hard to turn from detesting people to loving them, but I'm trying damn hard. But it's worth it, because after the sharing, I felt a load lighten in my heart. & I felt God with me in this land where I have to fight for myself amidst all these temptations. :)